This weekend’s conversation with my gal pal revolved around her recent frustrations dealing with the fellows she hired to rebuild the deck at her condo.  My friend is no slouch; she has studied engineering, business, and project management.  Not only that, she is well travelled, well read, personable, successful.  And on her own (Read: No Man To Give Directions).

She did her homework;  she researched the most recent condominium rules, took measurements, and worked out the exact design she wanted using features created by a landscape designer the last time she built a deck at a different unit at the same complex years previously.  She drew out the plan, emailed and explained it to the two gentlemen who would be doing the work.  She also insisted that they look at her previous deck to get ‘a visual’ on how it would work & look.  Everyone on the same page as they say. But did they look at the plans carefully?  Did they listen to her?  I’m afraid not. Errors were made. Big ones.  Only then, reluctantly, did they agree to view the other property mumbling and dragging their feet. Like they were doing her a favour.

It seems to me that still in the year 2015 women have only a few ‘roles’ available to them when dealing with (primarily male) labourers or salespeople:

1. The Silly Little Woman:  Nice but dumb.  This woman is pleasant and cooperative (as women are trained to be) but ill-equipped to complain even if she sees something is desperately wrong.  Or if she does complain in her nice way, she is ignored or treated with condescension, “Don’t worry, Dear.  We know what we’re doing.  Don’t you worry.” No one takes her seriously.  She is often subject to subpar work or overcharging because “she’ll never know the difference.”
2. The Slut:  (Do I really have to explain this one?)  Appearing vacuous, she uses her sexuality (and possibly free time on the meter) to get attention and good rates.  Do men really still fall for this one & why can’t some women quit acting like this?
3. The Bitch:  She is unpopular because she is perceived as pushy, obnoxious & difficult to deal with.  She definitely doesn’t dish out tea and cookies like The Silly Little Woman might.   The Bitch usually gets her way, mostly because no one wants to be subjected to her wrath as she’s also not afraid to call a spade a spade (or a f’ing shovel) in a direct confrontation. However, she can suffer poor follow up or miss out on deals or upgrades because she’s disliked.  Interestingly, this label could be an improper perception by insecure workers who might be threatened by her knowledge and assertiveness.  She is made to be the problem so workers look good. In actual fact, she could be….
4. The Educated Individual:  She is smart, direct, polite.  Often (in the experience of my friends and I), men can feel very threatened by her intelligence or confidence.  Their egos all in a knot, they argue, override, put down. They have to be better than her, and heaven forbid she’s right (they would never admit it).  Bingo – imagine my friend’s picture here.

I’ll bet some men have major difficulties with similar situations sometimes.  Why can’t we all just deal on the same page (and the same font) without all these judgements and egos plugging up the works?  Can someone PLEASE come up with a better system?  And then let me know about it before I need to buy another vehicle.